Like I don't even know

Pineapples in the ancient wilderness of the world occasionally grew where only the youngest of sailors could reach them. These young sailors would grab hold of a stool made from the finest oak in the land of trees. These trees could only be nourished with the finest fertilizers made from the lost hopes of little children who lived without a home. They lived without homes usually because the fires of volcanoes were very common in that day. The villagers would often use the heat from the lava to smelt ores and make tools. These tools were of the very first ever used to make weapons like swords. The swords weren't always used for fighting though, because they cut away the grasses of the plain very well. In these grasses were an ancient breed of buffalo that could hear even the smallest sound from miles away. Thus they often went deaf from the loud things in the area such as the ruby throated warbler, whose shrill was so loud that it would make grown men cry. The villagers would then harvest these tears to make a special soup that the young boys would drink as a ritual to become men. After they became men they had to hunt and protect the tribe that they lived in. They had to protect them only because there were dangers back then that are inconceivable now.  Some of these young men would leave their families and travel great distances to become sailors.